I'D SHOW A SMILE, BUT I'M TOO WEAK...

GAMES

For these games to work, you will need to have downloaded this file, then unzipped it into your main Windows folder (usually C:\Windows). If you have any other problems regarding these games, please email me.

 (40 games)

Abduction - 2005 - Download - 8/10
A fun and rather hard platformer which was made in under 2 weeks overall (I started it in October 2004, worked on it for a few days, then stopped and worked on other things, then finally went back to it mid-January 2005). Playing as Kenny, you must make your way through a deadly alien planet and rescue Stan, Kyle and Cartman from almost-certain doom. Although the gameplay is a little repetitive at times and the game does have a few too many similarities to the Cartman's Adventure series, it is a nice little game for something that took me such a short amount of time to make, and it's worth the download.
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Alien Genocide - 2001 - Download - 5/10
A small title in which you must bust some alien ass while your time goes up. Collide with a UFO and it's all over. An addictive little title using Beamer's formulaic "Beat your own time" style.
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ButtersBallz - 2005 - Download - 7.5/10
Perhaps my best Arcade-style game to date, ButtersBallz puts you in the shoes of Butters, who is currently trapped in an arena with a cannon on each side. Starting with 9 lives, you must dodge the red balls that the cannons shoot at you, while collecting gems that appear in the arena to earn points. Get hit by a ball and you lose your life - lose all lives and it's Game Over. With a level of difficulty that increases as the game progresses, how long can YOU survive in ButtersBallz?
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Butters Pro Skating - 2002 - Download - 7/10
See where the Butters Pro Skating series all began with with SPG-Sports classic! Inspired by Matt Kennedy's Stan Marsh Skateboarding and based heavily on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, Butters Pro Skating remains one of my popular games. Bust out a total of 12 awesome tricks on 9 different levels to earn the gold and become a Pro Skater! It may not be original, but it's good!
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Butters Pro Skating 2 - 2006 - Download - 8.5/10
The long-awaited sequel to my popular skating game, Butters Pro Skating 2 has perhaps the smoothest animation in any South Park Game to date. Playing as Butters, you must tear it up all around the world - from the USA to Canada, Japan to Britain, Germany to Russia, and Australia to China! In a game heavily based on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3, you advance to each level by completing a series of goals, ranging from getting a score and collecting the SKATE letters, to doing certain tricks over specific objects and interacting with your surroundings. An instant classic, though it takes a while to get the hang of at first. Highly recommended.

Cartman's Adventure - 2000 - Download - 7.5/10
Here it is, Beamer's most successful series - Cartman's Adventure! Go back to the original Mutant-Busting, Weight-Gaining title, CA1. Not as good as its sequel, but still, a must-have if you like SPG Platformers.
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Cartman's Adventure 2 - 2001 - Download - 8/10
Once again, Cartman must save the world from Dr. Doom and his evil minions. Great graphics, and even greater gameplay, and it's well worth the 7mb download. You'd be a fool not to get this! Special thanks to Spratt for uploading.
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Cartman's Adventure 3 - 2003 - Download - 8.5/10
Cartman's Adventure 3 is yet another installment in my best series. Playing as Cartman, you have discovered that Dr. Doom created an evil clone of you before he died in Ca2, and since it is a leap year - that clone is on the loose and out for revenge! It's up to you and Dr. Hope to stop the clone before it summons its creator again, all while destroying all the mutants Evil Cartman has released. A must-play for everyone, and special thanks to Junkman for uploading this for me.
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Cartman's Adventure 4 - 2004 - Download - 9/10
The first ever quadrilogy in South Park Gaming is complete with Cartman's Adventure 4! Playing once again as Cartman, you discover that a new insane scientist by the name of Professor D. has stumbled upon Dr. Doom's research, and is hell-bent on carrying out Dr. Doom's original wishes. It's up to you, and you alone, to make your way to Professor D. and stop him before it's too late! With amazing graphics, an advanced save engine and tons of hidden extras to unlock, Cartman's Adventure 4 is a must-play game, and is easily my best currently released game to date. Highly recommended.
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Come On Down To South Park - 2000 - Download - 6.5/10
An old one, but a classic. In one of my earliest games ever, I move to South Park & you get to play as me and have all kinds of fun with Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny, including a Hide 'N Seek game and a deadly walk in the graveyard. Very fun and playable, especially for an old game.
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Criminal Cartman - 2000 - Download - 3.5/10
Cartman has been convicted of a crime he didn't commit, and it's your job to help him bust out & get revenge on the people that sent him to the big house. This was my first attempt at a "killing spree" type game, and it's pretty damn crappy.

Cyborg Kenny - 2002 - Download - 8.5/10
As you can tell by the score, this is one of my best games. Basically, you play as an evil robotic Kenny, on a quest to take over the world. The main style of gameplay found here is all-out shooting action, but with other types of gameplay such as car chases, treasure hunting, skating, sub-fights and flight sims, Cyborg Kenny has so much to offer! Not to mention the nail-biting difficulty level and extra features. I really recommend it.
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Dodgem Kyle - 2001 - Download - 3.5/10
A multiplayer game where a bunch of Kyles had to doge giant rolling boulders. An early experimental game, and while it may be decent with multiple players, it's definitely a game you should most likely try to avoid.

Escape the Jungle - 2006 - Download - 7/10
This game was made for the 2nd South Park Game-Making Contest. The rules were that games needed to be submitted by March 23 (the contest was announced early in 2006), and the games had to be a top-down shooter with a jungle theme. So, I got to work on this game - a direct top-down action game, in which you must guide Kenny out of a jungle inhabited by a rogue army who wants him dead. Although this game is certainly a first for me in many ways, its innovative concept is undermined by the fact that it doesn't work well on slower PCs, and it only has 5 short levels due to the limited time-frame the game was made in (though it is rather challenging, so hopefully the difficulty makes up for that). Worth a play, though certainly not for everyone.

Fantasy South Park - 2000 - Download - 4.5/10
A really early Beamer game from my first few months of game making. This was my first RPG ever, but was pretty damn good considering how crappy my games were back then. In this, you play as Kenny and get sucked in to a Fantasy TV show. Thus begins a quest to get out, and on the way you battle Dinosaurs, and even go forward in time and in to a black & white show. A classic Beamer Game.
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General Cartman - 2000 - Download - 3/10
The third game I ever made. A really old Klik 'N Play game made entirely through the Step-Through editor. As lame and crappy as it is, it is still surprisingly fun, and is just proof of how much my Click gaming skills have evolved over the years.
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Go Timmy Go - 2000 - Download - 2.5/10
A really crappy "experimental" game I made, where Timmy drove his wheelchair throughout different levels, jumping and dodging various creatures and obstacles. This is Version 2, meaning that the errors in the Load & Save features have been fixed. Fixed Load & Save feature or not, this game still sucks supremely.

Kenny Attack - 2001 - Download - 6.5/10
A small mini-game in which you have to kill the set amount of Kennys. However, one collision & it's all over! Luckily, you get to configure Weapons, Music, Levels, and the amount of Kennys there are... or you could ask the computer to pick it for you! NOTE: The computer picker is very buggy, but the game itself is fun.

Kill The Cartmans - 2001 - Download - 5/10
A small title, I know. Not really a big game, but very fun and addictive, and good for relieving stress... or if you just want to kill a lot of Cartman's... Like Alien Genocide, it uses Beamer's "Beat your own score" style.

Mystery - 2000 - Download - 5.5/10
A 3-day project I made in late 2000 for my old website SP Gamer Z. Basically, Kenny gets murdered in class - and you have to walk around the school looking for clues as to who did it, and then finally accuse someone from a list of approximately 20 at the end. This game was originally a competition - the first person to email me the solution won a prize (you'll note that all competition info has been removed from this version). An original concept, although lacks replay value.
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Navigating Kenny - 2004 - Download - 7.5/10
A quick-thinking puzzle game where you must position blocks to guide Kenny through a series of obstacle-filled mazes and get him out safely. Although it often strays from a puzzle game, it's still a fun game for the most part, and with 20 levels for under 1mb, it's well worth the download.
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Pac-Stan - 2000 - Download - 7/10
Okay, there have been tons of Pacman rip-off's in SPG, but give me a chance! This particular Pacman-style game is definately one of the better ones. There are tons of different Cart-men, ranging from ordinary dumb ones, to smart homing ones, spooky ones that jump out from nowhere, hungry ones that eat up anything in their path, and lots more! So, how do you take these out? With your special weapons! Just waste the Cart-men, eat the Cheesy Poofs and save Wendy before you reach your doom. There are tons of levels, and the game is a challenge even to the most experienced Pacman player!
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Park Invaders - 2000 - Download - 3/10
A really early KnP game. This one was a Space Invaders rip-off that had you playing as Cartman, running around all different places in South Park throwing rocks at UFOs. It was poor, but hey, it was one of my early games!

Protect Kenny - 2002 - Download - 4/10
A small mouse-controlled shooting game where you must shoot all the enemies before they get to Kenny. Really basic, but somewhat fun.

Skateboard Stan - 2000 - Download - 2/10
Another one of my terrible early KnP games. In this one, you dodge cars. Simple as that.

Snow Defenders - 2005 - Download - 6.5/10
A game I submitted to The First South Park Game-Making Contest for The South Park Gaming Archives. It was made in just a few days (I was originally working on a larger project for the contest called Snowman Massacre, but lost it - though a demo is still available in the Special section if you're interested) for the contest's November 21 due-date. Part of the contest's requirement is that games had to be an action-platformer with a snow theme incorporated. The result? A quick-but-fun little arcade game, not intended to win the contest, but to support it none the less. In it, you can play as any of the 4 main boys, armed with a limited supply of snow you must re-charge from a snow hill on a level above you. Using this snow, you must defeat the mutated Thanksgiving turkeys coming your way, before they destroy your prized possession! Simple, but a neat little original idea, even if it did have absolutely no chance of winning the contest.

South Park Classics - 2002 - Download - 5.5/10
Four classic games in one, each with cool South Park twists, and two of them have Two-Player modes too! A small but fun download.

South Park Espionage - 2000 - Download - 5/10
One of my first games in C&C. In this, you played as Stan, and you had to infiltrate Mephisto's base and put a stop to his evil plan of cloning people and taking over the world. Really old and not that good anymore, but was a classic.

South Park Espionage 2 - 2000 - Download - 5.5/10
Released 2 months after it's original, in SPE2 you get to play as Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Wendy, Cartman and Chef in an attempt to destroy an evil robot created by Mephisto before he died. Once again, it's nowhere near the same standards as my recent games, but was pretty damn good in its time.
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South Park Fishin' - 2004 - Download - 7/10
The premise of South Park Fishin' is simple - try to hook a fish, then reel it in. Catch as many fish as possible within the time limit to win. Definitely one of my better games - but although it is very fun and addictive, it doesn't have much of a lifespan. Still, it's great - considering I made it in less than 10 hours altogether.
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South Park Helicopter Bomber - 2001 - Download - 5/10
SPHB is a "Beat your own score" game where you must drop bombs from a helicopter on to all creatures trying to kill Kenny. The game ends when kenny dies.

South Park Olympics 2004: Athens - 2004 - Download - 6.5/10
An Olympic-themed game featuring 8 different events. Although SOME levels do require skill, the majority of this game is just mindless button mashing. Still, it can be a fun game to play at times.
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South Park Pointblock - 2001 - Download - 6/10
A unique puzzle game that is a mix of Pong, Breakout, and those "Put the balls in the clowns mouth" games at fairgrounds. However, it's just so hard to do that it's nearly unplayable.

South Park Rock Climbing - 2000 - Download - 2.5/10
Back in 2000 when I began to try out new ideas, I came up with a concept for a rock climbing game, where you had to make it to the top of a wall, avoiding falling rocks and spikes and keeping your stamina up. As you'd expect, the game turned out crap.

South Park Smash - 2001 - Download - 6.5/10
SP Smash is an ultra-violent beat-em-up, with 3 different difficulty levels, incredibly violent gameplay, tons of violent secrets, as well as some really violent death sequences, to settle all your blood-thirsty needs. Oh yeah, did I mention it was violent?
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South Park X Men - 2000 - Download - 3/10
A fighting game with a unique South Park/X Men crossover to it. However, like most SPG fighting games, the gameplay was really crappy.
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Super South Park Pinball - 2000 - Download - 2.5/10
A version of Pinball for South Park fans, where you score points by keeping the ball in the area & killing Kenny. Another one of my poor early games.

Super South Park Pinball 2 - 2001 - Download - 3/10
Although this is slightly better than the previous version, with more levels and a tad better engine, it really is one of my poorer efforts.

Super South Park Trivia - 2005 - Download - 7/10
A trivia game, featuring over 250 questions about South Park. Test your knowledge in three different modes you unlock while going along. Will you prove to be the ultimate South Park fan?

Trapper Keeper - 2003 - Download - 7/10
An addictive arcade game loosely based on episode 413 of South Park. You have to bring down Trapper Keeper and the Cartman Spider Creatures before South Park is sent in to oblivion! Not my best game, but for 1mb, it's well worth the download.

Trapper Keeper Reloaded - 2004 - Download - 7.5/10
In this sequel to Trapper Keeper, Kyle must once again infiltrate and destroy the evil monster and save the world from the Cartman-spawn. However, the gameplay has been completely renovated - it's the same basic idea, only it now has elements of a side-scrolling platformer, as well as some new obstacles and features, and some terrific looking graphics. Well worth checking out, especially for such a tiny download.
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 (2 games)

Knuckles Millenium - 2001 - Download - 7/10
My first Sonic Fan Game ever! Play through 6 different level styles as Knuckles the Echidna to stop Egg-Robo from getting the Millenium Emerald. Similar to Sonic 1 on Genesis, this game is a must-have for Platform Game lovers.

Knuckles Millenium 2 - 2001- Download - 7.5/10
The sequel to my original Sonics Fan Game, this time Knuckles must stop a robotic version of himself from reaching the Millenium Emerald. Brings new pros (and cons) in to the series, although is an overall improvement on the first title.

 (1 game)

Megaman 2001 - 2001 - Download - 6.5/10
The amount of things in this game alone is intimidating, with over 15 levels and bosses, not to mention the cheats. This game would be one of my best if it wasn't for the jerky gameplay.

 (2 games)

Bleh! - 2003 - Download - 8/10
My first Original Game in C&C! Yay! In this, you play as a one-eyed alien called Bleh and his sidekick, Dr. N who live on the planet Boing and must collect these Spirit Letters to open up a portal and stop Munch from destroying Boing... Well, the storyline might be complicated, but the game's a helluva lotta fun!

The Pac - 2000 - Download - 4/10
A stupid Pac-man rip off, envolving a character just like him who wears glasses. Despite its lack of originality, this game's not as bad as it sounds.

...ACTUALLY, I JUST PLAIN CAN'T BE BOTHERED.